The Fourth of July was always one of my favorite holidays in the US. Not that I'm terribly patriotic or anything, just...there are fireworks and BBQs and its an excuse to drink = HELLO PERFECT HOLIDAY.
Now, it of course means something else to me. It makes me miss home.
While I'll be having fun tonight celebrating Iain's birthday (it's tomorrow!) down by the Thames...there's a part of my heart that will be back home in my parents back yard, drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade and with a over excitable chihuahua at my feet. (Praying for crumbs.)
If I could fly back home today, even just for a couple hours and to see my parents and my sister, I would in a heart beat.
On the Fourth we'd always go to the same spot to watch fire works. My mom and my sister and I would lay on our backs and wait expectantly for the Sperm Fire Works.
If you don't know which ones I'm talking about, the you don't know what you're missing out.
They're the bright, white ones that look like tad-poles when they're first launched, but then go off in crazy directions...as if searching for a big, unfertilized egg in the sky.
It dawned on me a couple of years ago that they totally looked like gigantic sperm. I started laughing hysterically - only to notice that my sister was cackling to herself as well. Then my mom started laughing,
"OH MY GOD THEY LOOK LIKE SPERM!!!!"
Hopefully the Fourth of July Sperm Fireworks won't be nearly as fun without me this year...(If I can't have a fully complete Fourth of July THEN NOBODY SHOULD.)
Happy Independence Day, my fellow Americans.
May this recession end soon, may the gas prices go down, and may all of your BBQ's be fully cooked so you don't end up with the shits all weekend.
This song reminds me of home...
Are you fucking KIDDING me?
After all my adventures last night, I get up this morning, and go out on the screen porch to enjoy my coffee. From the window well I hear an all too familiar dry leaf rustling sound. I look and over, yes, there's a teeny bun in the window well. Only I know it ain't my teeny bun, because he's still in the bathtub, enjoying his breakfast in bed:
Please meet Not-So-Teeny Bun. He's more like Teenage Bun and just as wily. Capturing him to remove from the window well was a bit more exciting, because he actually jumped in the window and ran around the basement.
Oy. Now I've got to figure out what to do with them, because if I just put them back outside, I envision having to fish them out of the window well every other day. Suggestions?
How long do you take in the shower?
Submitted by Strive2Be.
Gosh, I'm rather embarrassed now. I'm the person who posted this question, and I did so because my friend was SHOCKED at how long I took. Lol. He wanted to know *exactly* what I could possibly be doing in the shower....take him step by step. I thought he was being silly, but after reading the answers to this question.....wow, I must transform into a turtle or some such slow critter when the water hits me. I spend about an hour....yes, you heard me world....one whole hour....sixty minutes.....in the rectangle of spraying water. That includes wash/rinse hair, wash/rinse body (lol), and shaving BOTH my legs (don't forget that there are TWO of them), plus maybe a touch-up shave between................shhhhhhhhhh. AND....this doesn't even include getting into the song, "Good, good, good...good vibrations!" Lol. You really don't want to know how long I'm in the shower if I get that song into my head!! So......I'm a turtle......or a slug......or some primordial sludge. And then don't even get me into what I do AFTER the shower...lotion on the legs and (shhhhhhh area) so the skin doesn't dry out, clip the nails (and remember, we have finger AND toe nails! Lol), dry myself, pat my hair dry and then let it dry on its own after I've combed it, and get dressed. I also, at some point during all this time, am cleaning out the shower and drying it. And guess what, guess what?? I'm one of those people who doesn't use all those creams and lotions and make-up and gobbly gook. Can you imagine how long I'd be in the bathroom???? Just bodywash, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, and lotion for the shaved areas. How come I feel like I'm on the witness stand, defending myself desperately so as not to received the death penalty?? *smile* I'll have to go into hyperactive speed next time and let you know the results. Probably shampoo in the eye, legs with hair still visible in areas, a nick in a sensitive spot, and a major slip getting out of the shower as my feet are still slimy with bodywash. Well...at least I can yell to the world...I'M UNIQUE!!!!! WooHoo!!!! Not so sure if I like this uniqueness, though. It's more like "Super freak, she's a super freak!" Lol.
Apparently my typos make up my mind for me.
I was trying to type "I think it best to move along."
Yeah, so never mind my post.
I wasn't supposed to right write it.
(WTF? Dude, that was unintentional too... what's happening.)
You can thank the forces that control the universe for that one.
"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little."
–Sydney Smith
You'll notice that this was posted at the bizarre hour of 4:00 am. Normally I would be asleep at this hour, but about 30 minutes ago, I was woken by a strange thumping noise. I rolled over, felt around myself and found both the cats sleeping. Not a cat. I got up and checked on Teeny Bun. To my relief I found him asleep, having eaten his fill of the Redzilla Guest House Salad Bar--fresh picked dandelion greens, clover, and lettuce. So I walked the house for a while until I heard a suspicious scuttling, scraping sound outside my office window.
Suddenly I remembered a possible source for the thumping: the brick I had placed on top of the sump pump well cover to block the raccoon-made hole and to weight it down. I grabbed a flashlight and ran outside. Around back, at the east* sump pump, what did I find?
A fucking raccoon, trying to get the cover off the sump pump well. Yes, a raccoon who wanted to make the eleven foot fall to NOTHING but the bottom of a pit. Grendel's mother? Another daredevil moron? Or the same? No way to know.
At any rate, I yelled at her and after a few moments of hesitation, she darted up the stairwell roof, over the garage, and away. I put the cover more firmly on the sump well and piled two big limestone rocks on top of it.
Jumping Christ on a Pogo Stick, what the fuck do those raccoons think is in the bottom of my sump well? There is, as far as I know, and according to my plumber, nothing at the bottom of the well except mud, a ceramic tile, a brand new sump pump, and about three inches of water. Did Grendel's grandpa leave a treasure map showing where all the loot from his days of banditry is buried and it's under my sump well? Did Grendel's mother accidentally drop her wedding ring down there? Does the sump well contain an entrance to Raccoon Paradise?
All I know is--I'm done. This weekend I am building an elaborate, heavy, critter-proof cover for my sump pump wells, possibly with a raccoon trap/alarm/deterrent that is not a rudely awakened me, shouting and waving a flashlight. Because I've had it with that shit. Another raccoon falls into my sump pump well and I'm going to go all Tony Montana on his ass.
Late Breaking Stupidity!!
Just as I was trying to go back to sleep, my phone rang, incoming text message. There was an off-chance it was Hubbicula, so I got up and checked it. It was an official "Campus Alert" from the university, telling me to use caution on campus, because a university student had been found dead...off campus. It also gave the name of the suspect in the case: Adolfo Garcia. Because that's the kind of shit I want to be notified of at 4:30 in the morning, after I've been out frolicking around fighting evil raccoons. Plus, I'm sorry, but this has all gone toooo far. Sure, in the case of the Virginia Tech shootings, where shootings were reported on campus, these cell phone alert systems are good.
They're not good when they're used to report on a single murder that happened off campus. They're not good when used to panic people at 4:30 in the morning. Hello! I was already using caution by trying to be safely asleep in bed! Really, what could possibly be the benefit of this particular alert? Thousands of university students, faculty, and staff woken from sleep to what purpose? Lie awake and worry? Check that their guns are loaded? (Ha! Not in cuddly, liberal Lawrence.) Check that their doors are locked?
There's no indication this is anything but a single murder. No suggestion that this guy is on a killing spree. Certainly no likelihood that he's on campus menacing students, who aren't even on campus at 4:30 in the morning, on a freaking national holiday. So, there you have it: university administrators as stupid as my raccoons.
I'm on yer beach mockin yer chickens!
My "baby" the 125 red vino was loaded into a van and driven off to live in Monterey. :::waves:::
Whee... $4600 toward by NEW baby! I made the call for Ben's bike as he was just to anxious too leave the bike at the dealer any longer. That's when Greg told me they knew where my BIKE was. OMG. It is at an Aprilia storage facility. They are going there on their day off (4th of JULY) to pick up my bike! I had to ask the pressing question that's been plaguing me. "Is the seat cream color or black?" The one I saw online was cream and I fell in love with it. I did not want black, but I would have taken it. He said, " it's CREAM!" Happy dance! So we went down and got HIS new bike and paid for mine. I go in on SATURDAY and get my new sweet ride!
I've been looking at new helmets (and jackets) and am shifting toward the scorpion dahila products.
I hate heavy perfumes or body products. I don't wear perfume much, or scented body products. If I do, I like things like lavendar (my fave!) or low-key earthy scents.
I especially don't like Bath and Body Works. I used to get down with it and I know a lot of people love it, but it's just not my cup of tea.
Well, I shoulda been paying attention to the anti-bacterial on my co-workers desk when I asked her to use some. Cus it is Bath and Body Works and it is heaavvvvvvy! UGH! It's going to the back of my throat and into my nose and I'm already kinda sickly, so it's making it worse! And it won't go away.
Beggers can't be choosers; co-worker was kind enough to share (whereas I don't keep my products on my desk, cus I'm selfish about those things). But still.
I smell like a teenage girl getting ready for a date or something.
